


Euterpe

by PondRam



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: M/M, Sibling Incest, and some mistakes because its like 2 am, angsty, hahaha, have fun with the angst my friends, i cant write anything happy anymore sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-15
Updated: 2014-11-15
Packaged: 2018-02-25 12:13:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2621285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PondRam/pseuds/PondRam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Euterpe, similar to Utopia, suggesting perfection (which is not fictional)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Euterpe

**Author's Note:**

> hi im trash
> 
> some stuff I forgot to put yesternight!!111!!
> 
> tumble link: http://wecouldbehiros.tumblr.com/post/102706431157/sometimes-i-like-to-write-some-shit-idk-why-i  
> song insp: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJXEUq7DI-U

_**Euterpe, similar to Utopia, suggesting perfection (which is not fictional)** _

_Where are you, dearest brother mine?_   
_I can't recall the meaning of time_   
_My thoughts may last a moment,_   
_a lifetime, a year, but..._   
_why are you not here?_

\--/--/--/--

Hiro often noticed that his thoughts always drift to his big brother when he's not doing anything. His eyes drift to the bed of his older brother, and everything seems to slow down.

Everything seems to slow down and everything starts to feel numb.

It's been about a month after they solve Tadashi's death and Hiro still can't wrap- can't seem to accept that he's dead.

That Tadashi, the person who had been with him most of his life, the one who supported him, the one who took care of him when they're parents died, is dead.

Everything feels wrong, and Hiro is scared that nothing will ever be the same no matter how many days, weeks, months or years he waits, the gap in his heart might not heal.

Perhaps, time is not the best medicine after all.

\--/--/--/--

_Where are you, hopeless brother mine?_   
_wasn't it you who saved us every time?_   
_Won't you find me now?_   
_Won't you bring me home?_

\--/--/--/--

Hiro reminisces the times where Tadashi was alive. The time where Hiro was still into bot fighting. The time where Tadashi always saved him from brawls, from the police, from everything.

Tadashi would always swoop in last minute to help Hiro escape, and would always scold him during escape time. He would always find Hiro, no matter how obscure the place where the fights occur.

Tadashi always made sure Hiro gets home safely and in one piece. Hiro smiles fondly at this memories.

Tadashi always said that it will always be the last time but it wasn't always the last time.

However,

this time it may be the last time. 

\--/--/--/--

 

_Why can't I remember your name?_

_\--/--/--/--_

Some days, Tadashi's name feels weird on Hiro's lips.

He still knows his brother's name, however the meaning.

The meaning, it's-

It's not entirely gone, but still Hiro is scared.

He would not like to forget his dearest brother, he would not like to forget the best thing that happened to him since gummy bears.

He would not like to forget about his first love.

\--/--/--/--

_There was nothing but a flash of light_   
_followed by the darkest night --_   
_How is it I cannot recall?_   
_The vestige of your memory_   
_aching deep inside of me --_   
_Have I died, after all?_

\--/--/--/--

Hiro recalls the night of the fire.

It seemed years away, it seemed like a horrible nightmare where he would just wake up and see his brother alive and awake and smiling and glowing and loving and caring and-

He was supposed to have a good life, Baymax himself has said.

It seemed like a joke, it seemed like a terrible joke and horrible joke that the universe played with him.

It seemed like a joke that the fire took his beloved brother away from him just like that.

Hiro swears everything got duller after his death. Hiro swears that the colors never seemed vibrant now that his beloved brother is gone and will never come back and he's all alone in this world now without a brother, without the person he loves without him.

After a month, Hiro notices that he's starting forget and he doesn't want to forget.

He'd rather die than forget.

\--/--/--/--

_Where are you, frightened brother mine?_   
_I still feel a chill, sliding down my spine_   
_The fear inside my heart_   
_was etched into your face_   
_what has happened to us?_

\--/--/--/--

Hiro remembers Tadashi's face during his last moments.

There was a scared look on his face, a scared look on his face that didn't quite belong in his brother's face, a face that he'd like to wipe off from this world.

Perhaps, just maybe perhaps, Tadashi knew it was too late but since he was so, so hopeful that he can get in time he tried to save him and he failed.

Which was so fucking unfair.

It was so unfair that Callaghan was still alive and Tadashi's dead and he wasn't suppose to die.

If he just-

if he just distracted his brother for a few more seconds, would he still be alive? Would Tadashi still be here, alive and cheerful and happy and everything that made him him, hugging Hiro right now, instead of a pillow which has no longer the scent of Tadashi but instead the tears and misery and sorrows of the little brother?

Hiro was so scared.

Maybe everything was his fault.

Maybe, perhaps Tadashi hated Hiro and went to the building ready to die.

Perhaps Tadashi didn't know and it was all Hiro's fault not distracting his brother from entering the burning building.

Hiro sleeps crying and somewhere out there, an angel's heart breaks.

\--/--/--/--

_Aah, it was such a painful flash of light,  
calling forth the darkest night --_

\--/--/--/--

Hiro didn't get burned.

He did not get burned but he should've burned with his brother.

He should've at least tried to stop him even more, but he did not and now he ends up with just the loving memory of a big brother whom Hiro might've liked even more than a big brother.

But instead all he got was a phobia to fires and a duller world.

\--/--/--/--

_How could I have let you follow me?  
We were thrown into oblivion,_

 --/--/--/--

Tadashi's heart breaks when he sees Hiro.

His heart breaks when he finds out that Hiros blames himself for his death when it was a stupid mistake of Tadashi's.

Hiro was never to be blamed, he was perfect he will not do any harm he has no fault.

Tadashi however was the one at fault. He shouldn't have ran to the stupid fire, he should've just stayed with Hiro hoping for the best but-

Heroism was a noble death but Tadashi did not agree.

It hurts like hell,

It hurts like hell.

Tadashi should be burning in hell right now. He was supposed to be as he had impure feelings for his brother but-

He isn't and it hurts because he deserves hell after what he made Hiro go through.

He hates himself for dooming his brother into hell without him.

 --/--/--/--

_but my final vision_

_\--/--/--/--_

It seemed kind of ironic.

Hiro thought and saw his brother as the light of his world. As the one to keep him grounded, the one he trusted the most but-

He is dead.

And Hiro is to blame.

An angel cries in sorrow.

\--/--/--/--

_was the sight of you,_

__in the light._ _

\--/--/--/--

Tadashi was glad the he was still allowed to visit his brother when he had free time.

He thought that he would be banned from visiting his brother but he was so fucking glad that he was not.

However, in some days he was still sad to see Hiro.

To see the happiest person in his life to be so sad, to be moping and his heart breaks and weeps as this was all his fault.

He weeps because he cannot bear to think about how he failed to protect his love.

How he failed to make him smile and be happy.

How he cannot be with him until Hiro's death,

He cannot think of a paradise without Hiro.

He cannot think of a paradise without the light of his life, without the person who has influenced him in so many ways-

he cannot live in a paradise if it meant not being with Hiro.

\--/--/--/--

The universe is not perfect, Tadashi knows of this.

However some days,

Some days,

He wishes that just even for a day, a moment, a second, everything will be perfect for Hiro.

Tadashi knows well that Hiro does not deserve this sadness.

Tadashi wishes to the unfair universe to grant his simple wish.

Tadashi wishes so damn hard.


End file.
